2006, 01/29 - Crack Whores and Cheese

Munchkin: I'd like some more crackers, please.
Mama: Ok.
Munchkin: [singing mindlessly] Crackers and cheese... crack-hors and cheeeese... crack-hors and cheeeeeese...
Mama: Crack-ERS!
Munchkin: [continuing] Crack whores and cheeeese...
Mama: Stop saying that!
Munchkin: [looking at Mama funny]

2006, 01/26 - Music

Munchkin-Approved: My Blue Heaven - Harry Connick, Jr

2006, 01/25 - Divorce, Death, Boogerheadedness

Munchkin Initially Rejected:
For Once In My Life - Harry Connick, Jr
Munchkin Approved After Much Mommy-Peer-Pressure:
For Once In My Life - Harry Connick, Jr

Munchkin: What if Daddy gets married and I don't like the new mommy?
Mama: Don't worry; Daddy would never marry someone you didn't like. And anyway, I'll always be your super best number one mommy, and I'll always be here to take care of you.
Munchkin: Step-mommy?
Mama: No, I'll always be your number one mommy, because you came from my tummy.
Munchkin: You won't be my mommy after you die!
Mama: Yes, I will always be your mommy. After I die, I will still be your mommy. I won't be here, but you'll feel me in your heart.
Munchkin: [with a mischievous gleam in her eye] What do you mean? Does that mean you'll be beating on my heart and scratching it?

2006, 01/20 - Booger Hat

We like to make impromptu recordings on my cell phone; here's a transcript of the latest:

Munchkin: I'm wearing a booger-hat here, you've noticed.
Mommy: Yes, I have noticed your booger-hat! It's lovely; where did you get it?
Munchkin: I got it from my mommy and my daddy.
Mommy: Oh, where did they get it from?
Munchkin: My mommy and daddy got it from their nose.

2006, 01/19 - Mommy Met Dave Barry

Munchkin: Ew, that's disgusting! Why did he hug you? You don't even know him; he's not your friend!
Mommy: He's very nice! And I know of him; he's very famous!
Munchkin: What do you mean?
Mommy: He's famous; a lot of people know him!
Munchkin: Well of course a lot of people know him! I know [about] him, too! A lot of people know ME, too; I go to preschool! And everybody knows me there! Everybody knows everybody; we'll ALL be famous!

2006, 01/10 - Music

A.
Munchkin (and Mama)-Approved:
Wonderboy - Tenacious D

Munchkin-Denied:
Mama singing "Wonderboy" over and over and over again, and then singing it some more

B.
Munchkin-Approved:
Musicology - Prince (he's back to that now, right?)

Munchkin-Rejected:
Copacabana - Barry Mani-NO! (I'd never heard it all the way through, so we gave it a listen; with NO prompting from me, she insisted the song be stopped right away. 'So proud!)

2006, 01/09 - Music

Munchkin-Approved:
Feel Good - Gorillaz
King Tut - Steve Martin
Munchkin-Denied:
Mellow Yellow - Donovan

2006, 01/06b - Weird Al

Do you remember "The Weird Al Show"? On CBS, Sunday mornings? In 1997?

I skipped teaching my Sunday School class of first graders at least once so I could watch it. ...Good times...

Well, I remember it, and that's what counts. And it's coming to DVD this year, people!

For your salivary pleasure, a "clip" (from IMDB.com):

Announcer: If you thought there were no more natural disasters left to make a movie about, you thought wrong. 60% Chance of Rain, the most horrifying new movie of the season. The weather got out of hand.
Mayor: We can't go starting a panic, not during tourist season!
Announcer: Only one man had the courage--
Deputy Al: Mr. Mayor, I don't care what happens to your tourist season! Someone needs to tell these people that they might need a jacket!
Announcer: To bring Mother Nature to her knees...
Deputy Al: C'mon, people, let's go! Everybody in the rec room! We don't know what we're in for. C'mon inside, everybody!
Announcer: When the barometric pressure increases, so does the terror.
Boy: So we don't even know if it's gonna rain?
Deputy Al: No, son, we don't.
Announcer: 60% Chance of Rain. Coming soon to a theater near you, maybe.

I practically wet my pants reading that. (Practically?) That's comedy, people. (The pants wetting?) Shut up.

2006, 01/06 - CPR

Fun night tonight:

1) We love french bread. Love, love, love it. Mommy loves to dip it in olive oil with garlic salt & italian spices. Munchkin loves it plain, as long as the crust is good and crunchy. But the best part of having french bread is feeding the stale crumbs to whatever wildlife (birds?) lurks on the grass below our balcony, which Munchkin did tonight.

She donned her heavy coat and braved the near-freezing Georgia cold (ha ha, I know) while I huddled under my laptop to perform the post-dinner email check.

After she had done her Good Deed for the Day, she held the door open and called out, "ENJOY YOUR DINNER, BIRDS! GOOD NIGHT!" and blew them kisses and hugs.

2) Munchkin, on playing with a folded-up stroller: "How do you get this situated?"

3) "Mommy, you be the hospital-man. Um, hospital-man? My piggy got his knee scraped. And he died. You're not supposed to be laughing! You're supposed to be sad! ...You have to put oxygen through his mouth."

So I gave the piggy a bandage, a blood transfusion, and an oxygen tube up his nostrils. Then I told him to take it easy, and handed him back to his best friend. (She's not his mother; she's his best friend, she says.)

The verdict? "He's still dead!"

So I gave the piggy a new bandage, checked his pulse, administered CPR, and handed Munchkin a bill for $1,000,000, which she apparently paid in cash.

Oops, piggy scraped his leg again. And he doesn't have a pulse. And my CPR isn't working, so I showed her how to beat the heck out of his chest. She's having fun with that now.

4) "OW! You poked my eye!"
"Oh! I'm sorry, Sweetie!"
[she starts complain-crying (no tears)]
"Are you sure I poked it? I didn't feel any gooey eyeball slush on my hand!"
[complain-cry turns into a giggle]

Tonight:

Munchin-Approved:
Shout - Isley Brothers ("You head-shake, too, Mama!")
Tutti Frutti - Little Richard ("Yum!")
In the Summertime - Mungo Jerry
Good Golly Miss Molly - Little Richard
Superstition - Stevie Wonder

Munchkin-Rejected:
Under the Boardwalk - The Drifters ("not fast enough")