Sunday, November 27, 2005

2005, 11/27 - The Finger

So, we're sitting in a booth at a restaurant--me, Munchkin, & Munchkin's dad.

From behind the wall of our booth, up pops a young waitress who wants to comment on Munchkin's cuteness. Munchkin, always embarrassed by unexpected attention, promptly performs an ostrich-burrow into my thigh. I laugh, which further embarrasses Munchkin, and she starts crying.

The waitress leaves; I direct Munchkin back to her pb sammich; and all is well once again.

About ten minutes later, we see the waitress heading back toward our table. I look over at Munchkin to see if she'll be able to handle herself this time--and I find my bright-eyed beauty pointing her Middle Finger straight up in the air, her finger and unthinking gaze directed at the approaching waitress.


As the waitress--with a sudden air of uncertainty--reaches our table, I gently but swiftly cup Munchin's hand into mine and sweep her arm down under the table. I struggle to catch my breath long enough to admonish, in the waitress' hearing, "Sweetie, that, um, means something you don't want it to mean."

Munchkin's dad & I are both fighting back raucous bursts of laughter; the waitress is struggling with giggles of her own, and, remembering what made Munchkin cry earlier, tries to cover with, "Oh, look at this funny tray!" as she hurries away.

Munchkin knows something funny just happened, because Mommy and Daddy can't stop laughing. And, she knows that she had something to do with it.

This pleases her, so she shows us her middle finger again. And again, and again, and again. Still guffawing violently, I am unable to explain anything to her. In a panic, I blurt out, "Oh, that's not the funny finger; we meant the POINTER finger is the funny one!"

So she delightedly POINTS for us over and over again (thank Goodness), until I finally force myself to stop laughing and explain to her [without explaining to her] why her previous gesture cannot be made in public.

"But we sing the finger song at school!"

"Then you may only point your middle finger at school, during that song, ok?"

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Friday, November 25, 2005

2005, 11/25 - Hush

Munchkin and I were perusing photos [of her] to send to my cousin.
We chose three, and I decided that was enough. Munchkin continued to point out photos she thought I should send, so I said, "If you don't mind, I'm just going to send these ones."
"I do mind," she replied.
I ignored.
"Hey, I said I mind!"
Teasingly, I retorted, "Actually, when I said, 'If you don't mind,' what I meant was, 'HUSH'!"
She laughed.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

2005, 11/24 - Thanksgiving

Best Quote of Thanksgiving 2005:

Munchkin does not like to give hugs to her grandparents, but I coaxed her into it with, "Show them how strong you are!" After she gave them each a big squeeze, she came to me and commented in a quiet-but-not-quiet-enough voice, "It's hard to hug those big fat people." I raised my eyebrows--"Excuse me?" She immediately corrected herself: "Oh. It's hard to hug those big chubby people."

Monday, November 14, 2005

2005, 11/14 - Bedtime

Daughter: [age 4.5 & finally in bed] Mommyyyy!
Me: [stuffing laundry into washing machine] A'll beeee rite theyerrrrr!

Daughter: Why do you talk like that?
Me: I don't know; I guess I think I'm funny.
Daughter: [admonishing tone] God gave you a nice voice; I want to hear you use it.
Me: [raising eyebrows amusedly] Where'd you hear that?
Daughter: My teachers... Mimi... Everybody!
Me: [thinking Hmm, maybe it's finally time to introduce her to the concept of Atheism] Well, who's God, anyway?
Daughter: He's just a person.
Me: [peasant impersonation] Well I didn't vote for 'im!
Daughter: What?
Me: Nothing, nothing, sorry.